Having a baby is lovely – they are cute, they smell so good, they’re fun to play with, you can dress them in delicious clothes, and when they look at you, it melts your heart.
Now lets get real.
1. You don’t forget.
I have no idea why people say “when you see your little baby, you forget about labour”. WRONG! It fucking hurts, really, really, really badly. For me it was like having someone rip my body in half – and I had an epidural. If I could have been given morphine, tequila, and a joint I would have taken it.
2. It takes months to recover.
I was very lucky, and lost all my baby weight within a month after having my baby. But…my body hurt for months after. My shoulders were super stiff, my lower back was in agony, my joints were all tight and painful, and I felt like a senior citizen. I would lean over to clean up, weed the garden, or pick up the baby, and I would have a hard time getting up. When I got up, I was bent over reeling in pain for 2 minutes. It takes a major toll on your body, and I wasn’t expecting the four or five months of recovery time.
3. Your hair falls out. Lots of it.
Three to six months after you have a baby your hair will start falling out in shocking amounts. Every time I wash my hair I pull out a full hand full of hair. When I brush my hair clumps come out. I have to vaccuum and sweep almost every day to pick up all the strands that randomly fall out. Apparently when you’re pregnant none of your hair falls out. I didn’t notice, but now when I see pictures of myself before I can see it looks like I have a weave in my hair from it being so incredibly thick. One the baby comes out, your body lets go of all the hair it was holding on to – and you lose massive amounts of it. My hairdresser couldn’t believe what happened when she felt my hair last week.