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Life

Friendship Breakups Are Good For You

May 11, 2010 5

I love being positive, but one of the funny things about being positive is that you usually have to cut through the negatives to get there.

Something that really helped me to move to a great place in my life was by unfriending a few people.

The true sign of an overdue friendship is when you know your friend does not have your best interests in mind. It could be subtle – like they call you and tell you gossip they heard people say about you, and they know it hurts your feelings – or major – like they have serious jealousy issues and you always feel like you’re in a competition instead of a friendship.

Another sign of a overdue friendship is when you don’t think your friend adds anything positive to your life. We’ve all had these people around us at some point, like the person who calls you to complain, and goes on for one hour, without asking how you are.

We have friends to enrich our lives. If you surround yourself with people that suck away your good energy, you are only left with the negatives..

Remeber that saying, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are”? Friends are a representation of us – from value systems to senses of humour – and I make sure I chose mine very wisely now.

And that’s one of the little changes in my life that has made a huge difference overall.

There are 5 comments

  • Emily says:

    This is so true. I have a couple of friends that I’ve been trying to distance myself from because they are really negative. When I surround myself with people who support me, I feel better about everything.

  • admin says:

    Thanks Ingrid and fendergurl for your comments.

    It can be hard to breakaway from negative friends, but if it’s a net net negative relationship I think it’s very important.

    It’s certainly true that we’ll all need a good friend to complain to at some point, but overall there needs to be more negative than positive to make it work out.

    Like fendergurl I would always choose to surround myself with a few true blue friends than a group of so so friends. The tricky thing is these friends are few and far between. Most of us have 1 or 3 true blue friends – and those are people who are honest, caring and genuine with us. They don’t just boost our ego and make us feel better, but they call us on our bs and keep us in line too.

  • Ingrid says:

    This is so true. I have a couple of friends that I’ve been trying to distance myself from because they are really negative. When I surround myself with people who support me, I feel better about everything.

  • fendergurl says:

    This is a very sincerely written post.

    I hear what you are saying, and it brings many things to mind.

    I too, have been guilty of ‘down-loading’ my concerns onto someone, and then really not taking the necessary time to find a balance – to check-in with that person and ask how things are in their world.

    Something ‘real’ happens in genuine friendships: we are honest.

    If a true friend is draining us, we can honestly admit that fact. If the balance is off, deep friendships push through the storm and find a brighter spot. There are a number of acquaintances in my life and only a handful of close, trusted friends. The friends are sharing and interested and supportive. But, most importantly..they are honest.

    A ‘real’ moment between 2 friends is worth more than 5 acquaintances casually saying hello, in my book!

    Nice thought-provoking words.

    fg

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